Good Guy/Bad Guy

 We like in a dualistic world. Good/bad, right/wrong, light/dark, my way/the highway. 

I’m fortunate to hang out with the type of people who actively look at their ‘shadow’ selves—those parts we deem unacceptable in some way—and take positive steps to make corrections. We all have those aspects of self we’d rather not have, but that’s where the work is. As Dr. Phil is happy to say, “You cain’t fix what you don’t acknowledge”. 

Taking those steps requires courage to start, and resolve to stick with. In the process, I’ve learned how alike we all are. My challenges and lessons are everyone’s, and theirs are mine. Together, we learn to embrace it all and learn what we need to learn when we need to learn it. Learn times four, and do it some more!

I try to remain aware when all I can see are my own shadow issues, and can’t find my sense of gratitude. It’s all part of this human experience; my task is to take what I’ve been given or what I’ve created or enabled which blocks out the Light, and find my way through. The Light is always there for me to thank.

Today, as I bask in the Sunlight of the Spirit, I am grateful to remember that in this moment, all is well. In every moment of my life, all is well. There really are no two ways around it.

A Special Time

I remember my mother wearing a small, unique watch. I always thought of it as being exotic. She was from Australia, so I imagined that it was from there; that maybe she had worn it on the ship to the US after the war (WWII) to rejoin my dad. I thought that watch was pretty cool.

She apparently thought so, too, as she kept it all her life. After she died, I managed to receive it. She had put a new, unmatched strap on it, and it was no longer working. I remembered the original strap, and cut pictures from magazines to use as inspiration for making a new one. That never had to happen; I took it to a jeweler to see if they could fashion one for me, and they were able to order and attach just the right strap!

They couldn’t fix it, but that was fine, because I found a watch repair place which could take care of that. It’s there now, coming back to life. I’ll be sporting a lovely, working piece of historic jewelry very soon! I can’t imagine that it is worth the dollars I’m spending to restore it, but that’s not the point. Value is found in the attachment I feel.

The gratitude I’m experiencing is in the sweet connection to my mom. No mother/daughter angst, no drama—just warm memories from when I was a little kid, watching my mother’s watch as she wore it every day.

The Angelics

 I think that sounds like the backup singers in a group — maybe “Gracie and the Angelics”. They’d sing sublimely sweet melodies, with beautiful harmonies. Their repertoire would include joyous dance music, soothing chants, slow waltzes, and maybe a sing-a-long. Definitely no heavy metal.

I think we not only encounter angels, but we embody them at times. Random acts of kindness are moments of connection with the angelic realm. When I have committed some form of stealth kindness, I know that it will be received as an unexpected answer to a prayer. It just seems to work that way. And when I have a need, I am aware that the answer will show up in a way I hadn’t anticipated.

Take my desire for companionship. I thought about a pet, but there seemed to be too many hurdles to jump, so I left that alone. Until one day, that is, when I saw the post requesting a home for an 8-year-old cat named Taco. I know I’ve already written about how he came into my life. My point today is that the angelic realm is wide and unexpected. Almost anyone who has had a pet will agree that they bring joy. 

Isn’t that the point of angelic visits upon our lives? We all get to do the work of angels. We all have the opportunity to see angels at work; those with two legs as well as those with four.

Today I am grateful for all the ways the Divine shows itself in kindness, companionship, and opportunities to slip a little joy into the lives of others.

Anti-Gratitude

 Today is one of those days when my meat suit is not happy. It aches all over, it’s bones and joints creaky and sore, it’s muscles screaming, and the skin holding it all together is on fire. What a mess. Where’s the gratitude in that?

I am deeply grateful that unlike many others, I don’t experience pain 24/7. It’s hard to imagine enduring that. Those little windows letting in the warmth of the healing sun feel like freedom. Pain killers take their time, then quietly do their jobs. I listen to my body telling me to take it easy, or to get up and move. 

I’m grateful for the visceral reminder that ‘this too shall pass’. Nothing is permanent. Joy is found in moments, and those moments are golden. The moments become longer stretches, where I’m not thinking about pain; sometimes it just fades into a white noise. I’m grateful for that. I can handle that.

I don’t have to be grateful for pain, but I am grateful for the fullness of time where both pain and joy live in peace. It’s not ‘anti-gratitude’; it’s the wholeness of gratitude.

🙏💚🙏

The Good Around Us

 Today I have the great good fortune to spend some time with people who, saddened and disgusted by the epidemic of unhoused brothers and sisters, will be filling bags with comfort items. We will then each take as many bags as we can, and will distribute them where we see need. None of us will have to look very far; homelessness is all round us, in almost every community.

This effort, a yearly endeavor, is spearheaded by a lovely couple who have been personally touched by the despair of having nowhere to go. He went on to become a professor, and her heart is as huge as his. Together, they care for the least fortunate among us in whatever ways they can. I get to look to them as examples of compassion and Love in Action.

Today, I am grateful to be a part of something much larger than myself. It won’t solve the problem of homelessness, but it will result in many moments of a sweet relief. It’s a start.

Gratitude as Small as a Mustard Seed

 A Master Teacher once reminded those who followed him that if they had faith as small as a mustard seed, they could order a mountain to move, and the mountain would move. 

What if I take this idea and substitute “gratitude” for “faith”? What if I look at that mountain with gladness for it’s existence, expressing the joy I feel in it’s every crevice and outcropping? What if I look at the ‘mountains’ in my life the same way? 

Sometimes, all I can see are the dips, rocks, and branches in my path, and fail to see the goodness all around me. There’s a tiny wildflower here,  a beautiful fern there: there is quartz in the rock, shining in the sunlight, and sprouting tree seeds all around. There may be mosquitos and horse flies, but I can deal with the little annoyances. Can I still feel gratitude for the entirety, the beauty, the wondrous ways in which all I experience is miraculous?

If I look at that mountain and see it not as an obstacle to move or to conquer, but as a challenge I can rise to, haven’t I then ‘moved’ it? It no longer stands as solid as before. It is surmountable, passable, no longer too much for me. 

That’s what I aim for. Start small when I have to, go big when I can, and feel the Presence of Joy in it all.

I Bloom Where I’m Planted

 “Bloom Where You’re Planted” is a popular saying which I first heard as a young adult. It was on posters in the 70’s, and I may even have had one at some point. 

I spent the early part of my adulthood traveling, and had no set home. That didn’t stop me from trying to decorate, to feather whatever nest I found myself in. I always loved imagining how I would use a space, given the opportunity.

Those opportunities have shown up in many ways, culminating in where I am today. Today—that space of Now, where my imaginings and realities of the past are done, where plans and hopes for the not-yet-here try to sneak in.

Today, I am blooming. I am surrounded by things which remind me of people I love, and of people who love me. I am grateful for my kitchen—very spacious, by apartment standards. I’m grateful for my balcony, where I can grow living beauty, and for the view it gives me of the colored sky at sunsets. I’m grateful for my yellow recliner—that which supports my body while I occupy my mind. I’m grateful for the ways in which my living space feeds my soul. It is my safe space, my cozy nest, my ‘writing shack’, my art studio, my personal bakery, and my pet palace. 

Sometimes I forget about Today, and step into Yesterday. Doing that takes me out of where I am, and has the power to send me into a spiral of loss, pain, regret, and sadness. That is a sure-fire way to wilt me mid-bloom. 

Today, I’m grateful for today, I’m grateful for this moment, in this place, at this time, with what IS. 

Watch me BLOOM!

Human Interaction

 Haven’t we had a weird experience in isolation because of COVID-19! I missed the in-person get-togethers which are still spotty today. I was and am very grateful for Zoom, for meetings as well as the feeling of being with friends and family, even just virtually. We humans need each other.

I think each one of us has something to offer others, and my preference is person-to-person. Zoom can’t give anyone the feeling of a hug, or the light touch of comfort. It’s been a wonder to interact personally. Masks are more and more optional, so I can see the smiles on exposed faces. I am more aware of when that mask is necessary, and that even if I ‘just washed my hands’, that may have been a couple of dirty doorknobs ago, and to wash again, just in case.

It’s all been, and continues to be, an exercise in caring for others. I wrote that I am honored to be able to sit with those on the threshold of this life. One of the ways I respect them is to wear my mask—they certainly don’t need to have to cope with whatever nasty germs they may not have been exposed to in their illness. I honor them by protecting them to the best of my ability.

I love getting to meet with my fellow life travelers like I will tonight; sharing some of my experiences with those who have faced the same challenges, or are dealing with ones I’ve never known. We all hold each other up by caring and listening, feeling the empathy, and cheering each other on. 

Challenges may be singular, but solutions are best when shared. 

But I’ll wash my hands first. 👐

Answering the Call

 I have the great good fortune to be able to volunteer in ways that touch my heart. I am a hospice volunteer. That means I am a companion to those who are terminally ill, and I get to help the person’s loved ones in “walking them home” as Ram Dass says.

I am so very grateful for this honor. I am often this person’s last friend. As such, my goal is to be the very best friend I can be to them, offer much more than mere companionship; as they’re able, we talk about fond memories of family and friends, of spiritual beliefs and temporal realities. Sometimes, all they need is the presence of another person, and sometimes they simply want a little human touch. It’s such a simple thing to provide, and something which most of us crave, I think. I’ll hold their hand, or provide a little energy work in the form of gentle touch or, often, foot rubs. 

It’s all a part of being involved in this beautiful life while we have it. They know, if they still have awareness, that they are in the final stretch of life, whereas most of us have no idea when the end of our physical existence will happen. My mother used to crack me up by saying “If and when I go…”! Momma, ain’t no ‘if’ to it!

We all have gifts to offer others, be they human or animal. Every day, I am grateful for the gifts I’ve been given, and the ways in which I get to express them.

Attitude of Cat-titude

 I’m a pet mom! Yesterday, I adopted an 8-year-old, loved and loving fellow named Taco Cat, and he has adopted me in return 💚

I am blessed to have friends who are also cat-parents. One in particular showered me with nearly everything I needed, and the former “owner”s mom gifted me with the rest. Such a lot of goodness!

I stopped myself in the past from adopting a pet because of a multitude of excuses, but it became very clear to me that for my mental health, I needed to invite another soul into my life. Then - poof! The friend who gave me so much of what I needed had posted a pic of this fine feline fellow, and my heart said Yes! I went ahead and called the number shown, thinking that he’d probably already been adopted, but that I’d try anyway. 

It turned out that he HAD gone to a foster home, but there were other cats there, and he likes to be the King of his castle. Before seeing that he wasn’t going to change, the foster parents took him to the vet for his annual tune-up. He thus came to me fully vaccinated and pronounced healthy. Another gift!

Today, my gratitude centers around my cat-titude, and I will celebrate Taco Tuesday every day!

It’s All in the Vibes, Baby

I’m pickin’ up good vibrations…good, good, good, good vibrations…. Brian Wilson, Mike Love

The thing I most love about feeling and expressing gratitude is that it lifts my vibration. When I consciously look for the good, I cannot concurrently be mired in the muck. I may not feel able to move, but my spirit soars, lifting me from whatever tries to hold me down. 

Lifting and expanding my vibration is a choice. It is nonresistance to what is. It is connection with my higher self and with my Higher Power. It is letting things be what they are, and releasing any thoughts of control. It is beingness. 

Vibrations ripple out and meet other vibrations, causing a ripple effect which impacts still others. Do I want the vibrations coming from me to enhance the good around me, or am I alright with emanating ripples of gloom and doom? Because they will also meet their matches. 

My prayers every morning include “may I always take the High Road in what I say, what I think, and what I do.” Those words help me opt to both send and receive good vibes. 

I’m pickin’ up—and sending out—good vibrations (oom bop bop) 🎶

Practice Makes a Practice

 Gratitude practice isn’t about pacifying our painful or challenging times—it’s about recognizing them and finding self-compassion as we do the work.  Alex Elle

…And the work is never done. There is no mythical place called “Perfection”. There is no end goal in the practice of feeling and expressing gratitude. There is a daily lifting of heaviness, a lightness brought into awareness, and the noticing of the Good which is always around. 

In finding the self-compassion to do the work, I am practicing the gift of Love. I am learning, with each “painful or challenging time”, to see how I can best find my strength to either move through or go around obstacles. I am acknowledging my own capabilities, and learning to be gentle with myself.

Learning to uncover those things which offer me joy and serenity makes the obvious good in my life stand out even more. I’m quicker to notice the positives and not take them for granted. I become better at shining a beam on the less-desirable moments to find the good and allow it to shine.

I am grateful for the concept of self-compassion, and for the knowing that self-care is not selfishness. It is a vital part of learning and growing. It is encouragement to get up and try again, and to do the work of each moment, each challenge, each time things don’t go my way. 

And—to be delighted when they do!

The Deep Breath of Gratitude

 I’m finding that pausing to feel gratitude is deeply restful, much in the same way as pausing to take a deep breath calms the body and mind. When I am feeling the gratitude, nothing else is distracting me; I am truly in the moment. Gratitude becomes an oasis of peace in a dry desert, an island of calm in a stormy sea, a ray of sunshine that pokes through the clouds of doubt.

Those tiny moments add up. They become visceral memories to experience again and again. They change me. They challenge me to look for new joys every day. I’m learning to say “Thank You” in all circumstances, regardless of how I may want to judge them. What is this difficulty teaching me? Thank you for the lesson. Where are the things of beauty? All around me - thank you. What am I going to do? Thank you for choices. I have this moment. Thank you. 

On this beautiful day, as the sun shines in blue skies, as I read, as I visit others, as I encounter people living their lives, as I drive, as I play, as I simply contemplate, I will allow the gift of the deep breath of gratitude to both ground me and elevate me.

Attitude of Gratitude?

 It sounds good. It rhymes, it rolls off the tongue, it’s easy to remember. It’s a directive I can remember and can aim for. Some days, though, all I can manage is a ‘tude.

Some days, I feel like I’m the lead in “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day”. Nuthin’ feels right, e’er’thin’ feels wrong, and I might as well just go back to bed, but the sheets need changing, and I don’t wanna change ‘em, and boohoo!

Ahem. These are the times when my Inner Brat is in charge. She is selfish, self-centered, and entitled. She needs to grow up, take a good look around, and starting saying Thank You to the Universe for all that is right, all that is good, all that she has been given, and get over her smallness.

It’s easy to stay in the dark when my eyes are closed. It’s much harder to find the good when I’m determined to not see it. I need to do a “forced close” on the mental program I’ve been running, and refresh my insight. One or two deep breaths help. Action works wonders. Allowing creativity to flow is powerful. Communing with my Creator is an absolute must. I say I’m on the crummy side of “ok”, then listen. What next? What next, my Ethereal Posse?

Breathe. Relax. Listen. Find my center. Remember that “this too shall pass”, nothing is permanent, and on the other side of this temporary gloom, all is well.

I can have an attitude of gratitude. It’s my Big Girl choice.

It’s Not a Given

 Things for which I can feel grateful don’t usually just fall into my lap—I have to do my part. Like those little glimmers of gratitude glitter, I won’t see their reflections if my eyes are closed or if I’ve turned off the light. When I let the Light shine, when I open my eyes to the possibility of the presence of those elements of wonder, I am always rewarded with ‘goodsight’. I see the glimmers, and I can express my appreciation for their presence in my life today.

I’m reminded of when I’ve looked for meteors, or have gone whale-watching: it’s rare that what I’d like to see is right where I’ve focused my vision. When I catch sight of a meteor, or the movement of the whale, it’s in my peripheral vision. It’s there, but perhaps not right in front of me. It exists, whether or not I've been fortunate enough to see it in it’s full glory.

Today, I’ll remember to shine that Light, to actively see what’s always there in it’s unique splendor, whatever it is. I am grateful for this day full of the potential of multiple sparkles!

It’s not a given. Today, I am a participant in my own sense of gratitude.

And so it is!

Gratitude Glitter ✨

 You know how glitter is—it gets into everything. No matter how thoroughly you might vacuum, it still shows up with it’s tell-tale twinkle.

Sometimes, I feel like I’ve been sprinkled with Gratitude Glitter. Everything just has a sparkle! All it needs in order to be noticed is a tiny bit of light to catch it’s surface. It might only be a “what was that?” moment, but it’s been seen. That instant may just be enough to bring me into an awareness that all is well.

Other times, that Gratitude Glitter is a full-on dusting of joy in all I perceive, how I greet whatever situation I find myself in, and in how I interact with others. The glitter gets everywhere! Far from being an annoyance—something which needs to be but cannot be cleaned up—it invites me into the presence of Joy and Peace. It is Beauty. It is Wonder. It is Fun!

I entered this day with the practice of giving thanks. I then went to my spiritual community and was fed the substance of Joy. I am now continuing each moment with Gratitude. That gratitude gets into my aches and pains, my early rising, my driving, my interactions with fellow travelers on this Life Journey. It gets everywhere, just like glitter gets everywhere, and will shine for me in unexpected situations.

Today, I will do all I can to sprinkle a little Gratitude Glitter into all I do and say—and write!

Joyful Anticipation

 Could it be? Yes, it could. Something’s coming, something good, if I can wait! Something’s coming, I don’t know what it us, but it is gonna be great!  Larry Kert, West Side Story

Enough with the existential dread! Move aside, expectation! Hopelessness? Fuggedaboutit!

I’ve known some worry-warts. They’re the ones always waiting for the other shoe to drop. The ones who start their sentences with “Yes, but…” They’re exhausting, and can drain my joy if I’m not careful. I can lose my joy all on my own, thank you very much, and I’m actively doing something about that by expressing gratitude in all things. Where there is gratitude, there is joy and peace and serenity.

Yes, bad things happen. Yes, the unexpected blows might connect and knock me to the ground. But I can get up, dust myself off, and be grateful for new insights. I can tune in to my Higher Power, the Spirit of All, and say yes. Yes, I can get up. Yes, I can feel the wonder of joy in the moment. Yes, I can rest in What Is, and simply let it all be. I can enjoy the joy of others, be happy for their happiness, and willingly share my own with anyone who can’t find theirs.

I know that something’s coming, something good! And in the meantime, I can bask in the joyful anticipation of the next Wonderful Thing!

I’m Walking on Sunshine

 This was today’s quote on Insight Timer~

Walk as if you are kissing the Earth with your feet.  Thich Nhat Hanh

What a perfectly lovely image! I had been contemplating health, and Thay’s quote hit the mark for me. Today, I can use my legs; I can walk, and I can feel the ground beneath me. I can breathe the air around and within me. Nothing is guaranteed; all is temporary. 

Today I will do my best to take nothing for granted. I have life! I will enjoy it. I have pain, which helps me to appreciate the pain-free days that much more. For today, I can love my body enough to let it rest. I will use my vision to take in all that I see, and to appreciate the beauty in it all. I will enjoy the silence around me, which, as it turns out, isn’t silent at all. 

I will love what is, in this moment, knowing that this moment is all I have.

Today, with gratitude, I will kiss the Earth with my feet.

Gratitude by Degrees

 There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.  Leonard Cohen

Think of a circle—all 360° degrees of it. Opening the circle up by just 1° is like the crack which lets the light in. If I think of gratitude as the Light, then I want to open that circle up more and more. If a little gratitude is enough to crack it open, then I want to apply more thanksgiving to see how wide an angle I can achieve.

Gratitude begets gratitude. When I concentrate on ‘all that is well with my soul’, I have no room for those things which can cause my joy to contract. Right now, as I look out my window, I see that the sky is gray and heavy, but in the same view, I see the glorious pink blooms of a tree celebrating Springtime. Which one will hold my focus? I can be aware that when I go out, the clouds tell me to take an umbrella. I don’t have to be sad that it will rain, or worried about getting wet. I plan for and deal with the dreary, while I notice and drink in the beauty which is also apparent when I’m aware enough to see it.

I close my circle by seeing the flowering tree and lamenting that the rain will probably just wash all the petals away. I open up my circle when I recognize that nothing stays the same—impermanence is a fact of life—and simply enjoy the beauty in This Moment.

Moment-by-moment, degree-by-degree, I will notice and appreciate all the Light which enters my circle.

Yin

 I am grateful to be a woman. I must have done something great in another life.  Maya Angelou

That was the quote which greeted me when I opened my meditation timer app. I glommed onto the word “grateful”, then accepted the invitation to reflect upon being a woman. 

Each of us carries both masculine and feminine qualities—it is the eternal yin/yang, the balance of life. I can certainly identify with my inner masculine at times, but my strongest identification is with the feminine. So what does that actually mean to me? 

It is strength; an internal strength borne of love and care and the birthing of ideas. It recognizes the masculine as an integral part of the whole, but rests in the feminine. It is growing and nurturing. It is stepping back and allowing, as well as stepping up and advocating when necessary. It is the freedom to bask in beauty as well as the compassion to square off against injustice. 

Are those who identify more with the yang, the masculine, unable to feel these attributes? Of course not; we all have the whole within us. It is our right to find that which resonates within, and then live our lives from that perspective. That’s an important aspect of authenticity, of personal autonomy. 

I am loving being a woman. I find my strength in tuning into the Sacred Feminine. I identify my ‘she-ro’s, and see where I am like those aspects I admire, as well as where I’d like to direct my actions to resonate with them. 

This remarkable body has nurtured, carried, and birthed human beings. It is connected to them always in a deep and very spiritual way. What a marvel! What a gift!

☯️

The Opposite of Gratitude

 I’m thinking that the opposite of gratitude is yearning. Yearning—wanting what I don’t have—negates the reality of what is present for me in this moment.

I think yearning arises from a sense of lack, and shows up when I desperately want what I don’t have, can’t have, or am unwilling to work for. On the other hand, a desire can be a nudge to action. If I want to have a new skill, I must take the necessary steps to learn it. If it has a high enough priority on my personal wish list, I will do whatever I am able to do in order to make that skill set my own. If I’m unwilling, then I have to admit to myself that the wish is simply a bubble floating by, and I’ve been momentarily struck by it’s temporary appeal.

When I take action to achieve whatever it might be that I would like to see as part of my life, I can enjoy the very real, very present gratitude for being a co-creator of change. I invite the guidance of my Spiritual Posse, and I go with it, giving thanks all along the way. When I find closed doors, I knock and look for other ways to my goal. Often, that closed door is my instruction to move on—whatever I seek is not there for me. I have gratitude for the realization that I don’t need to keep banging on that particular door; I am free to find something else.

When I find myself in that place of yearning, I am best served by bringing myself back to this moment. In this moment, all is well. In this moment, all my needs are met. In this moment, I can’t know what lies in store for me. In this moment, I will be grateful for all that is right, for all that I have, for all that I am.

Dropping Into Joy

 Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.  Marianne Williamson

Amid all the sorrows and challenges of life, I can still choose joy. That’s what showed itself to me in my meditation this morning. Joy is the expansion of the heart chakra, the sensation of a greenish disc of energy swirling in my heart center. If I visualize it, I can expand it. I can likewise sense it in others, if I choose to be open to it. 

I can be more open and accepting of others’ journeys when I try to tap into their joy. What makes this person happy? What gives that person contentment? It’s not mine to know; what I can do is to consciously be aware that there is something within them which keeps them afloat, and share in that moment of gratitude.

Differences fall away, letting compassion grow. As compassion grows, the collective loads lighten. When I can see the Light in others, when I can imagine them feeling their own joy, I personally am given a moment of true connection; my joy is lit up by feeling your joy. The old egoic patterning of envy and jealousy no longer have a primacy in my thought processes. It’s a conscious — and often difficult — choice to break old patterns, but is ultimately worth the effort in the serenity it brings.

Today, may I recognize the good around me, within me, and in the hearts of others.

Follow the Recipe

 If I want to bake a chocolate cake, I need to make sure I have the proper ingredients. The result won’t be what I intend if I make up my own recipe, omitting the chocolate, flour, and eggs. My intention might be for it to be a delicious treat, but the outcome will reflect my effort or lack of preparation.

The pastor at my spiritual home said this morning that it is up to us to create the conditions in which our desired outcomes will be inevitable, and that hit home for me. How often have I left out one of the steps of a process in favor of “then magic happens”? Sadly, embarrassingly, more often than I’d like to admit. 

I find myself, whether facing a project or a recipe, breaking the task down into steps. Do I have all of the ingredients? If not, can I make small substitutions which won’t detract from the end product I desire? Do I have all the time I need? If not, what changes to my schedule can I make? Are my individual steps doable? Do I need to ask for assistance, or have I perhaps made them too easy? Am I ready to start?

Instead of choking at the thought of doing something which will take time and effort, what would happen if I looked at each separate task or direction, and had gratitude for it’s do-ability? And as each item was checked off, I had gratitude for what I had accomplished? And as the project reached completion, as the cake came out of the oven, I expressed pleasure in achieving something wonderful? I would want to share my joy, offer others some cake!

The very thing which can keep me focused on my desired outcome is the gratitude for each and every step along the way. It’s as appealing as the aroma of a freshly baked chocolate cake!

This Wonderful Day

 This is a wonderful day. I have never seen this one before.  Maya Angelou

Ms. Angelou’s invitation is to be present in the moment — in this moment. I sometimes find myself on side roads or down alleyways, searching for what once was. When I do that, I’m missing out on what is, right now. When I find myself on that fruitless search, I have to remind myself that there is no ‘redo’ on what has been — no rewrites allowed. I want to cast myself in a different role so that I can be the heroine of all my stories. Again, I’m missing out on living my own current experience.

I am reminded of childhood anticipation of great joy, whether Christmas or birthday, when I knew that excitement was awaiting me. Those wonderful days when I knew I’d be getting together with my best friend, or when my family would go to the mountains for a breakfast of bacon and pancakes cooked over a fire, followed by hiking, wading in clear, cold streams, climbing, and exploring.

Can I meet this day, this beautiful, unseen day, with the same sense of wonder and gratitude for what will unfold as when I was a little kid? Can I throw off expectations of myself and others, and simply enjoy what is? 

The practice of gratitude is my open invitation to do just that. 

On this wonderful day, I am grateful for what is, and for what will be.

Wake Up!

 An awake heart is like a sky that pours light.  Hafiz

Oh, I want that! So how do I have an ‘awake heart’? I believe that gratitude is the way to wake up. Gratitude helps me see — it shines light on all that I perceive, if I’m open to it.

What can shining the light on unpleasantness do? Doesn’t that simply amplify the negative aspects of life? I suppose it could, if I just looked at the surface and stopped at the initial discomfort. Can I look more deeply, see with more perspective, grasp what could be if those negatives were be cleaned up or turned around? Can I be awake to possibility?

I believe it takes practice. The easiest daily practice is to consciously find the many things for which I can be grateful in this moment, and to name them. Express gratitude for all that I have, and feel the peace that brings.

When I see that someone else has more, can I find an honest sense of happiness for them? Experience tells me that the answer is Yes!, but I have to actively choose that until it becomes my first response. I have a spiritual teacher who asks me to silently congratulate them for their abundance. I do that, when I’m awake enough to have awareness in the moment. Those moments are much more frequent as I continue my practice, and I find that the more often I say it, the more honestly I mean it. I can allow myself to feel the joy in another person’s blessings, without it diminishing my own. 

When my heart is awake, there is no darkness which can obscure my joy.

Going Deeper

The art of deep seeing makes gratitude possible. And it is the art of gratitude that makes joy possible.  Ann Voskamp

Underneath black and white, there are all the shades of gray. Not only that, the entire spectrum of colors are buried below the surface as well. If I limit myself to only that which is apparent in a quick look, I rob myself of the magnificence of possibility.

Don’t get me wrong; there is a plenitude of things to feel gratitude for right out in the open, and those things need to be noticed and appreciated. Sometimes, though, the ‘art of deep seeing’ is necessary. I often need to dig deeper, understand more clearly the big picture, or simply be open to that which isn’t readily apparent, in order to find my joy. The good news is that it’s there! All the time! Every time!

Our world needs more joy now than ever. What can I do to contribute? I can notice. I can offer compassion, give thanks, and amplify the good which exists all around me. I can show kindness to one person at a time, I can offer thoughts of peace to those in turmoil, I can recognize our shared humanity no matter how we may otherwise differ. I can widen my perspective and shrink my opinions. 

One day at a time, I will be open to the deep seeing which leads to the possibility of gratitude. In so doing, may I open the doors of Joy for myself and those with whom I interact.

And so it is.

Owning My Wants

 I listened to a wonderful speaker this morning in an internationally-attended women’s meeting. A statement she made stuck with me, since I had already made the intention to write about the subject of wanting. Her reminder was that wanting never changed anything.

One of the tenets of AA is also the title of one of the chapters in our Big Book: Into Action. We also hear it in the slogan “Nothing changes if nothing changes.”

I have wants. I also have gratitude for what is, and for all that I have. The challenge for me is to not allow those wants to eclipse anything real and present in my life. Wants have the power to take me out of gratitude; I have the choice to place gratitude above desire, to love what is, and stand back to allow what will be to unfold. Wants can point me in a direction of positive change, as long as they are in alignment with my highest good.

The Serenity Prayer, my most constant mantra, always brings me back to reality. If I want something to change, is it mine to change? If it’s mine to change, am I willing to do whatever I need to do to effect that change? If it is not mine to change, can I resist the urge to plow ahead anyway, and simply be at peace with it as it is?

My wants don’t get to be in charge of my emotions for long. They sneak in, hogging my attention, until I recognize what is happening. It’s a present-moment reminder to look around with deep gratitude for all I see, all I feel, and how I’ll move forward, taking the next right action.