Contentment

 When you can think of yesterday without regret and tomorrow without fear, you are near contentment.  Unknown

That’s my goal, and quite often, I feel it’s truth. It doesn’t simply happen for me; it’s taken a lot of work, and I expect I’ll keep working toward this goal for the rest of my life. It doesn’t seem to be one of those “one and done” things—it’s an ongoing process.

But what a fabulous goal it is! I’ve experienced both sides of this spectrum; crippling fear of what tomorrow will present, as well as overwhelming regret for actions taken and opportunities missed. I can confidently say that that is no place to find peace. 

The peace I’ve experienced has come from developing a very real relationship with a Power greater than myself, the Source of all, the Love, the Force, my Creator. It doesn’t matter what it’s called. It only matters that I remember. It matters that I see myself—everyone—as the Eyes, Ears, Hands, and Heart of the Divine. 

I’ve learned (and am still learning) that my path is my own. It intersects and sometimes joins with the paths of others, but it always continues for me alone. The wrong turns were lessons, which were mine to ignore or learn from. The twists and turns keep me guessing about where it’s headed, but the obstructions and detours keep me in the present.

Contentment is found in Today. That’s where you’ll find me.

Permanently Temporary

 This too shall pass.   Persian adage

Good grief, I hope so. Aches, pains, healing, sadness — all of the not-very-much-fun stuff. They’ll be gone eventually, maybe to just be replaced with new challenges, or maybe to be replaced with unknown joys! One never knows.

The good thing is, I think, that nothing lasts forever. Even grief subsides over time. 

The message for me is to find and thoroughly enjoy the good, while knowing that whenever I’m going through a challenge, that situation is temporary. Finding the gratitude is a practice which helps me locate the good in each day and every situation. It allows me to find peace and to wear an honest smile, to actively seek out the positives and to breathe easily. 

I’m aware that I can oversimplify things, but I truly believe that my mindset affects my mood. If I have any control over how I think, then what I think about won’t send me to the darkness. Well, that and Prozac!

The point is, nothing is here permanently except impermanence. If I don't feel okay in one moment or series of moments, I know I won't live there forever. I’ll take a good, deep breath, then another. If I need to retreat for a bit, that’s what I’ll do. It’s all good.

I’m grateful for that.

It’s Cool, Baby!

 Oh wow, the weather is turning cooler! “Cool” is relative, of course, but here in Sacramento, it’s time for the down comforter and getting ready to bake. It’s all the way down into the 60’s!

I love this day! I love the invitation of the cooler air and cloud cover to hunker in and bake a pie, or a cake, or cookies, or anything yummy. You know I will! Baking is one of those activities which makes me happy, one which I can’t do in a small apartment in the summer heat. But today I can!

Sometimes—oft-times—it’s the everyday, little things which give me joy. I’m grabbing as much joy as I can, and I’ll happily share it via this blog, over the phone, or in person, accompanied by a good hug! Life is short. Carpe diem. Clasp the good and shake off the nasties. That’s my plan, anyway.

Today is, in fact, the first day of the rest of my life. I will eat it up and savor it. I’ll think kindly of others, then stay out of their way. I will say a prayer for those who can’t see the joy in this day, that they find relief from their sadness or anger, and find that they can simply relax into what is.

I’ll check the to-do’s off of my list, and give myself an attagirl for each completion. It’s a short list, but it includes Have Fun. 

I’m grateful for every minute of this day, for what has transpired and for how it will continue to show up. 

I’m cool, Baby!

Taken by a Taker?

When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”     Fred Rogers

There are givers in this world, and there are takers. There are perpetrators, and there are helpers. I know what kind of person I want to be, and I actively practice being that person on a daily basis. Part of being her is the daily concentration on those things for which I can feel true, deep gratitude. A daily gratitude practice keeps me in the flow of positivity, which seeks to leave no room for irritants.

Irritants have sneaky ways of getting into my days, however. It’s all part of the practice: see them, recognize them, get rid of them. One of the nastiest pebbles in my shoe comes in the form of friendship when that friendship is simply a cover for taking advantage of my desired kind nature. It happens to everyone. Someone comes into your life and a friendship is formed. There may be some oddities, but they are easily ignored in the name of the vision of what need within myself this friendship might be able to address.

If it’s transactional, is it a true friendship? Does it affect my usual good nature and self-esteem? Sometimes, saying “good-bye” is the best way to be a helper to myself, and ultimately to others. If I know how insidiously I can be taken, I am in a better position to be a helper to someone who knows something is off, but doesn’t know what to do or how to respond.

There are large problems in the world, and there are small difficulties in life. In everything, I am grateful that I can choose to offer a higher vibration to all involved. It starts right here, with me.

Vibe High

 I’m pickin’ up good vibrations….  Brian Wilson and Mike Love

Vibing high was the excellent message I heard yesterday at my spiritual home. These are heavy times, times rife with the low vibrations of disharmony and pain. Not falling victim to them is our task, our calling, our offering to the world.

I can neither turn my back on nor fix what’s wrong in the world, but I can be a light. I can acknowledge the pain and call out evil, even if I alone can’t change it. I can contribute to the beauty that exists and persists in whatever ways I am able.

One way I can contribute, I can be a light in the darkness, is by finding and expressing gratitude. I can recognize and magnify the good in the world, or just in my small sphere of it. I can find the positives, search out and support the helpers, or simply not cause pain and anger myself. 

As always, my best classroom is wherever I drive. Enclosed within the relative anonymity of their vehicles, people often show their worst sides. I don’t have to join them. I can pull back when I see that someone wants to get in my lane. I can send out high vibes to the drivers who are in a hurry, and might actually have an emergency. I can do what I can to not further antagonize angry, harried, or distracted drivers.

These are little things, but they constitute an everyday practice. When I can maintain a positive equilibrium despite the temptation to join them, I have successfully added some light to the world. That’s my goal.

Today, I’m sending out good vibrations. I hope you can feel them!

The Best Laid Plans

 I like to make plans. I like to feel like I have some control over my life, but I also want to be spontaneous. What’s a girl to do? I’ll tell you: make a to-do list, and add “be spontaneous!” to it. 

It’s a silly problem to have, I’ll grant you, but it’s mine, and it’s going on a different list.

So, I make proclamations and then I take opposite action. It’s all on me; it’s not some twisted bit of fate or uncontrollable situation. I own it. 

Today’s list is simply “clean and organize”. It sounds very simple when presented so succinctly, but in practice, I’m in for a long day—maybe. I’ll no doubt get sidetracked (I should add that to my list) by an unread magazine from last year or a trinket I’d forgotten about. You know—important things.

Here’s my plan: put on some music and dive in. First, get dressed (add that to my list so I can cross it off), then maybe another cup of coffee while I put together my plan of attack. I’ll schedule some breaks, and set the timer to get back to work. Then I’ll pretend I have a supervisor checking my progress. I want her to be impressed by my drive and singleness of purpose. Maybe I’ll get a promotion!

Yes, today I’m very grateful to have a mess to clean up, an apartment which makes me happy, organization in baby steps, and a willingness to not be perfect. 

That’s my plan.

Birth/Death

 When you were born you cried, and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.   Navajo prayer

That was the printed wish on a birthday card I gave a woman who used to sing those words with me. This afternoon, I have the honor of joining with others who sang with her as we participate in a hospice memorial for those who made their transitions last year. Our friend is one who lost her life and will be honored for all the goodness and joy she brought others.

It will probably be an afternoon of both tears and laughter as we both mourn her death and celebrate her life. There will be other survivors there today—husbands, wives, parents, children, and friends. This is, to me, a very sacred time; one of tenderness and hopefully, peace.

Today, I am grateful to have known her. I’m glad to finally be singing for her, as I wasn’t able to as she faded from this life. Whenever I can sing for someone who has died, I feel the honor deeply.

On this day, I’m grateful to still have life in this mortal plane. I’m grateful for the times I spend with those I love. I’m grateful to sing out softly for the people who were all dear to others—those who cried at their deaths, but rejoiced over their lives.