Body and Mind

 I awoke this morning from a vivid, intense dream. In it, I was aware of losing my mind—I couldn't get my bearings, I couldn’t remember how to use my phone to call for help, I sat in the car of strangers who were too surprised to do anything but take me with them, and I got out with one of them as she volunteered in a home for the memory-impaired. Convenient, in a way, but so disturbing.

The dream was capitalizing on the common fear of dementia. I’m aging—my body knows it and my subconscious mind fears it. Every time I forget an appointment, despite writing it down and maybe even having it in my phone calendar, I panic a little more. I go quickly from “what if” to “what will I do?”

Oddly, I can have gratitude for the depth of feeling in my dream, because it offers me a glimpse inside the minds of those who are losing theirs. This allows me to feel compassion for them in their difficult journey. I may experience it from that side, as well, and I offer compassion to my scared self. I still have this moment of awareness in which to feel gratitude in body and mind. I have this day in which I can delight in the excitement of little kids getting ready to watch the musical “Frozen” as I perform my volunteer duties. I can still volunteer, and be of service in a myriad of ways. If the day comes when I receive the loving service of those who assist the memory-impaired, I hope I’m practiced enough in experiencing the peace of deep gratitude to accept whatever is.