I Deserve What, Now?

 I can get tied up in knots over the dumbest things, just because I think I deserve whatever it is that I want. Not always—I have a modicum of maturity, after all. It’s just that sometimes I get stuck in an idea which actually has no merit. I’ll gnaw on that bone for ages before I figure out that it has no meat. When that time finally comes, it isn’t usually because I’ve forgotten what I had wanted, but more likely is because I’ve been humbled out of my entitled attitude. Ego gets a talking-to, and Spirit can be heard.

It might just be that what I have is enough. What a concept—I don’t automatically deserve all the bells and whistles. Maybe, just maybe, I can appreciate all that I do have and express true gratitude for it all. 

What happens when I calm down and get out of Princess mode to truly be thankful for all that is in my life? There is a mental shift into a joyous acceptance of this present moment. All wanting does is to take me out of this moment to plop me down into the land of ‘I Deserve’. That’s a place rife with frustration, anger, envy, and discontent. 

I choose, when I’m being fully in the present, to live in joyful acceptance of what is. As the Serenity Prayer teaches so simply, if I am able to change a situation, I just want the courage to do so, and if I can’t change it, I just want to have peace about it, and all I need is a little wisdom to tell one from the other. 

I’m so grateful for having all that I have—shelter which I can afford, air-conditioning, a full pantry, clothes to wear, all the creature comforts I need. Life is pretty sweet, just as it is in this moment.