Recovering

 I am a recovering People Pleaser. It’s not that I not longer want everyone to be happy and to like me—I just find that those desires no longer rule my decision-making. But then, as with all recovery programs, it’s “progress, not perfection”.

Sometimes in recovery, relapses happen. The trick when those nasty events occur is to show myself the kindness I would offer others, pick myself up, and not be afraid to try again. Chakra-wise, there can be a major blockage in my throat center which aims to prevent me from speaking my truth. When the blockage wins, words which want to be spoken instead get shoved down into the core of Who I Am, creating a new blockage in my 3rd Chakra, my Solar Plexus.

What I try to have is balance, but that won’t happen if I continually weaken my power centers. I’ll start listing one way then the other, getting dizzy and disoriented. It’s hard to unlearn old patterns, but that’s what recovery is for. I’ve experienced holding my boundaries in a kind yet firm way, and I want those experiences to be in the majority of my interactions, not just a select few.

Today I’m grateful for the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can (you can do it!),  and the wisdom (please God) to know the difference.