Simple Joys

I have a kitten I named Calico Callie. Watching her excitedly explore her new home is hugely entertaining.  She scampers, skips, and does cartwheels, all while discovering All. The. Things. She started out by hiding under a bookcase, too scared to emerge. First gradually, then quickly, she discovered that she was safe enough to look in every corner and check under every space. She’s even sat still enough in my lap to relax into tiny little purrs. What joy! 

So much to discover! Everything is new! Each new object is a toy! She hasn’t been around long enough to find everything blasé—there’s too much to be excited about!

She offers me joyful lessons on living in the moment. All I have is Now—is that Now going to be pure fun, or am I going to waste each Now in worry or anger or sadness? Baba Ram Dass always reminded people to ‘be here now’. That simple wisdom is exemplified in the everyday actions of my kitty.

Today, I will not hold back from experiencing the joy of having life. I won’t be doing any somersaults or cartwheels, but I’ll see things with a fresh outlook. I will stop to listen to the birds sing. I’ll completely enjoy my meals. I’ll endeavor to see things with fresh vision. I will take my lessons from Miss Callie, all while watching her hone her kitty skills.

Today, I am grateful for such simple joys.

Butterfly Kisses

 I advised a friend recently to give herself the gift of butterfly kisses to calm her anxiety. I learned this technique from watching another friend perform this simple act when she felt a moment of disquiet. It’s very simple: you cross your hands, palms facing you, then press thumbs together, pad to pad.  Place your joined thumbs against your sternum, then lightly flap the wings made by your hands, with each inward flap touching your chest just below your clavicles. Light, gentle, sweet little butterfly kisses!

We all experience the wide arc of emotions. The trick seems to be to fully feel them, knowing that each moment is temporary. I want those moments of bliss to last, and I wish the unpleasant ones to quickly pass, but I am present for all of them. When those icky or painful ones visit, I find it important to be especially kind to myself. That’s when simple techniques like giving myself butterfly kisses helps me settle down and assure myself that all is well.

All IS well. Some lessons are harder than others, and some rewards are simple moments of Grace. It’s very easy to be grateful for those times of wonder and joy, harder to find the gratitude for the lessons while I’m in the middle of finding out what I’m supposed to be learning. A quick butterfly kiss reminds me that I’m alright. I am loved and cherished, lovable and capable. As the mother of several children told me about all those bouts of painful labor, I can handle anything for 30 seconds. And another, and another. 

I am grateful for all the ways of dealing with life on life’s terms. If I can’t bring about change, may I find the serenity necessary to accept each challenge, greeting every one with the soft kiss of a butterfly.

Do-Overs

 Today is the first day of the rest of your life.  Charles Dederich

I don’t have to be defined by anything which has already occurred. I tend to do so anyway, just out of habit: I can’t do this or that because of (fill in the blank); I’ve just always been like this; I don’t know any other way. I can find many reasons why moving forward isn’t possible for me. I’m special that way.

What I’m learning, every darn day, is that all the excuses I carry just serve to keep me from growing as a human. I get to choose, though—stay in an old mindset which defies forward momentum, or be willing to look at all my “reasons” as the excuses they are, and step out of my (dis)comfort zone. It can feel scary, but doing so leads me to the signposts which point to my fulfillment on this earthly plane.

Here’s a do-over: after being fanged by my former ‘emotional support’ cat (and having him escorted from the building), I’m going to try again, this time with a kitten instead of a middle-aged, nasty-mannered old tomcat. I’m willing to try again with new parameters. 

Here’s another: welcoming a relationship after several years of being single. That’s a situation which demands setting out on a different path, with a mindset open to newness. It’s both exciting and scary, but therein lies the possibility of fresh joy.

And another: in spite of the mistakes I made as a parent when my kids were little, I still have Now. Today, I can be the mother I want to be, or I can at least come close. My boys are well and truly men now and don’t need their mama, but I can drop surprises into their lives from time to time as expressions of my love for them. I can offer them my ‘living amends’.

Today, I will only consider my yesterdays as lessons. If I have amends to make, I will make them, and will strive to make sure that my behavior causes no harm. I will enjoy the sweetness of my kitten, and I will bask in the glow of affection. If my sons call, I will laugh with them or be a sounding board for something they need to work out. I will be present for all of these things.

I’m so grateful for all my do-overs, and for the opportunity to, as the sign I received from my good friend Janet says, “Live by Grace, not perfection.”

Gratitude on My Mind

 The mind is everything. What you think, you become.  Buddha

I loved this quote when I opened today’s Insight Timer, because it rings true for me. When I spend time worrying, I become nervous and anxious. When I go into self-pity, I become a victim and a martyr. When I express gratitude for every situation, for my surroundings, for my life, I am joyous and free. Each of those end products emanate their own vibrations, affecting those with whom I come into contact.

What influence do I want to have? What vibes will people respond to in a positive way? Who am I, anyway?

I strive to be one who walks softly on the Earth, who sees the similarities with others behind perceived differences, who is genuinely kind, even to that a-hole who cuts me off in traffic! We all have our “stuff”, and we all handle that stuff in our own ways, subject to our understandings and personalities. If I maintain an attitude of gratitude, I am better able to see the Light in others. It’s there, waiting to be seen.

As I start my day with contemplation and meditation, I am better prepared to face challenges with more equanimity and less anxiety than if I just charge in with no thought of gratitude. 

When I think gratitude, I become grateful. When I’m grateful, I am able to see the good around and within me. It’s a lovely—and loving—mindset.

When Good Things Happen

 Just like the unpleasant things that crop up, really good ones do too. And just like the former, they go away. All things must pass. I can choose to stay mired in a pit of my own construction; every “why” adds a brick to the wall, each “wah” strengthens the structure of my pit. Conversely, every “thank you” removes those negative additions, where I ultimately find that I’m back at ground level. I wonder what vantage point I could reach by only being grateful for it all!

Gratitude feels like soaring. I used to fly in my dreams—that’s what it feels like. Climbing and looping, floating slowly or zipping along, totally free. When I know that true, deep gratitude grants me my wings, that becomes my aim. No “but”s allowed. Utterly in the moment, completely absorbed by the Now, I fly.

In this moment, I am at peace. In this moment, I am happy. In this moment, I realize that I have choice. In my awareness today, I will practice gratitude.

Today, I won’t stand in the way of Good Things happening.

The Sudden Blessings

 I have this moment only, and in this moment, all is well. 

I have hopes and dreams—I talk them over with my Creator and my guides and angels. When something happens which makes me remember my hopes and desires, it is a straight-up gift, a “yes” to my prayers, a confirmation of the value of my me-ness.

There are so many days which are filled with tests and puzzles, leaving me to ponder how what I experience is there for my Highest Good. I see things that way, asking what the lesson is, how I am to utilize it, and is it for me alone or is it something to share. Every situation I encounter is an exercise in using what I have learned to grow more as a human.

Some days are just hard. Those are the tests I haven't studied for, the pop quizzes to see whether or not I’ve been paying attention. Some days feel like today—full of ease, peace, joy, and wonder. No tests, just an easy living in this grand experience of being fully human.

I will stay in the Now of this moment, this day. Nothing is permanent; all is simply what it is in that Now.

I’m so very grateful for this day.

My Me-ness

 The awareness of being a sovereign being is empowering. Realizing the truth of coming into the world alone and leaving alone puts the onus on me to also rely upon myself to find my own contentment, joy, satisfaction, and serenity.

Not that I don’t feel the need for others—companionship, friendship, sharing in a deep and personal nature—these things serve to enhance the experience of living. I would have a much less rich life if I tried to live a completely hermit-like existence. No, thank you! I love (mostly) the interactions I have with my friends and family. I learn from the challenging ones, which help me grow. I’m nourished by the sweet ones, which help me smile.

Ultimately, my happiness resides within myself. When it glows, others feel it, and are hopefully encouraged to feel the same within themselves. It works the other way, too, so I want to be one who is a light, not a flame-snuffer. 

It seems like a dichotomy, this need to both find my joy in myself and feeling the need to share it with others. I am responsible only for myself, right? Just as we all are. But here’s the deal: the buck stops here. Nobody “made” me do anything I did to harm myself and others. (there are, of course, painful exceptions in many lives). As I’ve messed up, I’ve learned to own my responsibility and try to make amends. 

I came here alone, and I’ll leave alone. In the in-between time, I’ll own my own feelings and situations, while enjoying the ups and downs of being with all the others who come into my life. I’m grateful for all of it!