Expectations

 Expectations are resentments waiting to happen.   Anne Lamott

What happens when I have an expectation of someone else? I have placed my idea of an outcome on to another. I have forgotten that they are a sovereign person who has their own thoughts and motivations. Can I possibly really know what they are? I can perhaps make educated guesses, but that’s all they are—guesses.

What about when I have expectations of myself? Are they reasonable, based in reality, or have I drifted off into some fantasyland? Some are reasonable, as in expecting myself to make my bed in the morning, or expecting myself to wash my dishes and clothes and body. How about having an expectation that if I just work hard enough, I can run a marathon? Nope. With this body and these joints, that expectation would just lead to disappointment and frustration, and more than a little bit of pain.

Having expectations of others is nothing more than a recipe for, as Anne says, resentment. When I have a resentment, I start making up a story around it in order to justify my position. My imagination is good if I’m trying to solve a problem or create something, but it is sadly out of place in trying to ascribe reasons for what I can’t possibly know (and is probably none of my business).

Today, I’m grateful for the freedom found in simply letting others show up in whatever way they choose, or not at all. I can be okay with that—therein lies peace.